Favorite Movie Review #7: Alice in Wonderland (1951)

Disney’s Alice in Wonderland (1951)

Directors

Clyde Geronimi, Wilfred Jackson, Hamilton Luske

Writers

Winston Hibler (and others)

Based on

Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll

Starring

Kathryn Beaumont, Ed Wynn, and Richard Haydn

Genre

Children’s animation fantasy

Synopsis

Alice dreams of a world of complete nonsense, where “nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn’t.” Suddenly, she finds herself falling down a rabbit hole into that world of complete nonsense, populated with late rabbits, pompous dodos, mad tea parties, smiling cats, and a very unpleasant queen.

Review

Growing up, this was another one of those movies that I watched frequently, mostly because it was one of the few VHS’s my grandparents in Bowling Green owned that wasn’t a Shirley Temple movie. Alice in Wonderland came out of the classic era of Disney that also gave us films like Cinderella, Peter Pan, Lady and the Tramp, Sword in the Stone, and Jungle Book, many of which I also watched as a kid. Watching this movie again reminded me forcefully of why Disney was–and still pretty much is–the leader of animation. This is another great-looking film, both in its animation of “real” elements like Alice, and also in the creativity behind much of the animation of Wonderland.

In a way, this story was absolutely perfect for Disney, and indeed, Walt Disney wanted to tackle it almost from the beginning. There are actually a couple shorts that use Lewis Carroll’s story as source material, one with a real little girl superimposed in an animated Wonderland, and one with Mickey Mouse literally going through the looking glass into another world. This feature, however, is an adaptation of the actual story.

Like many adaptations of the Alice stories, this movie takes elements both from Wonderland (the White Rabbit, the mad tea party, the Queen of Hearts) and Looking Glass (the Tweedles, the garden of live flowers, elements of Jabberwocky) and sczhmusczhes them together. In addition to the big plot elements, there are also a lot of little details thrown in for anyone who’s read the books carefully. Lewis Carroll’s stories are written in such a way that adaptors can pretty much pick and choose what elements to keep without losing anything in the plot . . . because there really isn’t much a plot. I’ll get more into this in the inevitable books vs. movies review on this story, but one of the things that the newest adaptation of this story tried to do was invent a plot for Wonderland. But this film doesn’t do that. It remains pretty much plotless. There’s a little bit of character development in Alice, but the focus is mostly on Wonderland, and all that is strange about it.

As such, there is a great deal of creativity in the animation. Much of the comedy and visual style of this film comes out of the inventive details. For example, look at the numerous comedic ways that the Hatter and the March Hare pour and drink their tea in the mad tea party, or the smoke formations coming out of the Caterpillar’s hookah, or the variety of creatures inhabiting the tulgey wood. You get the sense watching this that the writers and animators just decided to let their imaginations run wild, which is precisely what Wonderland is all about. It’s a land of imagination, dreams, and complete nonsense. Sometimes it’s pleasant, sometimes it’s peculiar, sometimes it’s scary, but ultimately, it’s just completely nonsensical. Today, we often like things to make sense, and stories like Alice in Wonderland show that there is great fun to be had in nonsense.

As I said, this film has some nostalgic value for me, but I was also really impressed by the creativity and quality behind the imagination. If you’re looking for a fun ride where you can let go of your preconceived notions of reality, this is the film for you.

Worth Rating

Worth owning

Still a Favorite?

Yes

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StoryTalk: Imagination

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Where the Wild Things Are vs. Where the Wild Things Are

The Book

Where the Wild Things Are, a popular children’s picture book from 1963 by Maurice Sendak about a wild boy who journeys to a land of wild monsters fueled by the power of his  emotions and imagination.

The Movie

A Spike Jonze adaptation from 2009, which turned out a popular, critically-acclaimed, and surprisingly thought-provoking cinematic experience.

ROUND 1: Story

We follow Max, a little boy who is behaving like . . . a little boy, and his parents finally send him to his room without supper. While in his room, he imagines a journey to the land where the wild things are, a distant island where all manner of ferocious beasts live. Max, as a wild thing himself, takes charge and declares himself king of the wild things, and they engage in all manner of fun adventures, portrayed only in picture, until Max grows homesick and decides to go home where his supper is waiting for him. The end.

The story is poignant in its simplicity. We’ve all had days as kids where all we wanted to do was run away and go somewhere to have fun and be wild. Stories like Peter Pan and Alice in Wonderland were borne from such memories, and they resonate with everyone’s innate desire to be a wild thing. But ultimately, Max goes home and leaves his wild life behind, as we all must do.

The movie essentially has the same story and message, but fleshed out to a full-length film. Max is actually given a bit more backstory, so we understand a little better why he is the way he is. His father’s left him, and his sister’s lost interest in playing with him, so he’s feeling abandonment, and he’s on the cusp of adolescence, so he’s starting to feel unfamiliar and confusing feelings as well. The wild things are essentially reflections of Max himself, and the whole island becomes an outlet for his emotions. So the whole movie is basically one big emotional roller coaster. It takes us through the typical day of a little kid, and all the ups and downs he feels. The movie is not always pleasant to watch, and it’s not really supposed to be. One of the biggest differences between the book and the movie is that, while the book was most definitely for kids, the movie was most definitely marketed for adults. Which is not to say that kids can’t enjoy it, too, but the story and characters are definitely more complicated than in Sendak’s book.

Now, if you’ve been with me for a while, you know that I usually lean toward the more complicated story, because . . . I just like complicated stories. But in this case, I think the simplicity of the book actually serves the story better. Both book and movie tell basically the same story with the same message. But what I appreciate about the book’s story is that it’s able to say a lot with almost no words. The book only has ten sentences. That’s it. And honestly, you could cut those sentences out and still get the story strictly through the pictures. The point is made very subtly and simply, and while I like that the movie went more deeply into the psychological issues and the personalities of the wild things, I personally find the book’s story more compelling. And I think that adults can get more out of the children’s book than the children can get out of the movie marketed for adults. For that reason, I think the book has the better story. WINNER: Book

ROUND 2: Imagery

As I said before, the story is told primarily through the imagery of the illustrations. And the wild things have become pretty iconic in their appearance. And I love the creative design of the many different creatures. They almost resemble familiar animals–you’ve got the rooster, the bull, the water creature, the cat-like creatures . . . and yet they have some human elements to them, too. For all that we only see a few pictures of them, they’re pretty expressive. We feel their anger, fear, joy, and grief.

When I saw the trailers for the movie and actually saw the wild things, I got really freaking excited, ‘cause . . . I mean, look at them! They look exactly like three-dimensional versions of the pictures! Jim Henson’s creature shop designed the puppets, and it’s clear that they put in a lot of work to really capture the original illustrations. Plus, I love that they use puppets and costumes. Yeah, there’s some CGI, but what little there is is really subtle and it blends in well. You do actually feel like the creatures are really there. Not only that, but they’re incredibly expressive. I mean, they really do a great job portraying the emotions of these characters. The only downside to them is that . . . well, they do look exactly like the book’s pictures. And while that’s great and all, the creativity of the original design is what inspired the creativity of the puppets.

Plus, one other potential problem with the movie is that it’s pretty dark and unpleasant at times. There’s a lot of shaky cam, and a lot of moments where they try to make us feel just how dirty or cold or miserable Max is. The book’s imagery is pretty clean. Yeah, he gets homesick, but you don’t get the feeling that he’s living in his own filth, like you do in the movie. The book portrays the experience more like a dream. While in the movie Max actually runs away, in the book he’s sent to his room, and his room turns into the wilderness. So he hasn’t really gone anywhere. There are hints that the movie experience is a dream, too, but they treat it more like a real experience. In the book, they make it clear that the story is entirely in Max’s imagination.

The imagery of the movie is definitely more gritty and real. And while that can make for an often unpleasant viewing experience, I really love how this movie portrays so many different and complex moods. One of the things that irritates me about a lot of literature for children is when authors assume that kids can’t feel emotions more complicated than “happy” or “sad.” And I’m not saying that Where the Wild Things Are is like that, but I do appreciate that the movie gives a more complicated array of confusing emotions, and a lot of that comes through in the imagery. One of the criticisms the movie’s received is that some of the imagery is too scary or unpleasant for kids. To which, I would like to quote Maurice Sendak’s response. He says, “That is a question I will not tolerate. I saw the most horrendous movies that were unfit for child’s eyes. So what? I managed to survive.”

Plus, it is a story about a wild little kid, so you’d expect there to me mood swings and for the camera movements to be a little wild, too. In fact, it’s like the camera is, itself, a character in the movie, playing with the rest of them. The imagery portrays everything that is childhood, both the fun stuff and the miserable stuff.  It’s not a happy film, but it’s not supposed to be. The original pictures are wonderful, they tell the story beautifully, and as you’d expect from a movie, this film makes those images seem real and three-dimensional. WINNER: Movie

ROUND 3: Characters

Probably the most important and noticeable difference between the book and the movie is the fact that we’re comparing a picture book with about ten sentences of actual text to a feature film which was definitely marketed more to adults than to kids. As such, the characters in the book are comparatively simple. Max is basically just a typical, imaginative, and wild little boy. He’s simple enough to be relatable, and yet the little bit that we see of him says a lot.

Movie Max is considerably more complex and developed. For one thing, we actually meet his family. His father is out of the picture, and his mother is struggling to raise a teenage girl and a little boy on her own. Max is facing a number of changes in his life, including his mother dating again, his sister not being interested in playing anymore, and the beginnings of his transition from childhood to adolescence. And he’s pretty emotional and sensitive, which makes him wild, but also makes him sympathetic at times. Max takes us on an emotional roller coaster throughout the movie, and his mood swings are much like the mood swings of a real little boy with a big imagination. He’s creative, but selfish, protective of his ideas. He wants to be a leader and please everyone, but he also wants to have fun. He’s as complicated as a little boy can be, whereas Max in the book is just . . . the wild thing. He’s still an identifiable character, though, despite his lack of development. And, to be fair, the lack of development is mostly due to the fact that the book is, you know, ten pages long.

The other major characters, of course, the are wild things, the monstrous creatures of Max’s imagination. The monsters from the book are, as I said before, iconic figures, creatively designed and easily recognizable. As far as personalities go, however, they’re pretty much just your typical monsters. I mean, you can make some predictions as to what their roles are based on the pictures, but they’re mostly just nice to look at. The movie wild things, however, are entirely different. Not only do they each have their own unique personalities, but each of them seems to represent a facet of Max’s personality. So you’ve got the sensitive and temperamental but extremely loyal Carol, the cynical and blunt Judith, the calm and peaceful Douglas, and the more grown-up and individual K.W. Not only are these creatures all representative of some aspect of Max, but they’re all driven by his emotions. Their mood swings are also Max’s mood swings, and it’s when it becomes clear to Max that he does not want to live a life driven purely on emotion as they do that he decides that it’s time to go home. Plus, in addition to looking like the book illustrations, the creatures are also incredibly expressive, so you can identify with what they’re feeling really easily. We also have characters like Max’s mother, sister, and mother’s boyfriend, who don’t really appear in the book at all and add a lot to the story and to Max’s characters. It’s these characters and the definition they’re given in the movie that really drives the story. I like the simple characterization in the book, and it absolutely works for that medium, but I definitely like the more complex characterization of the movie more. WINNER: Movie


Book’s Worth Rating

Worth owning (new)

Movie’s Worth Rating

Worth owning

Next Books vs. Movies Review

Alice in Wonderland vs. Alice in Wonderland

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Maus: A Survivor’s Tale II: And Here My Troubles Began, by Art Spiegelman


Maus: A Survivor’s Tale, Part 2: And Here My Troubles Began

Date Finished

June 2, 2011

Genre

Graphic novel, historical fiction

Synopsis

When we last left the Spiegelmans, Vladek was telling the story of how he was taken to Auschwitz, and Art was struggling to understand his father. Now Mala, Vladek’s second wife, has left him, leaving Vladek despondently begging Art and his wife to live with him. Between struggling to escape the stifling environment his weakening father creates, Art records more of Vladek’s history, listening to the horrifying stories of life in the concentration camps and life after the war.

Review

In my review of part one of this story, I said that two things made this World War II story stand out. One was the drawing style, which replaces the human heads with the heads of animals, mice for the Jews and cats for the Nazis. In the first book, they never acknowledged this, and just acted as humans do, so the animal heads were more symbolic. In this part of the story, they do actually acknowledge the symbolism, but in a that recognizes that they are fully aware of the symbolic nature. Since the author is actually a character in the story, and the story is basically how he wrote this story, he is able to break the fourth wall a little more easily. There’s even one scene where we move outside the story to Art trying to draw the thing. The animal symbolism is still there, but instead of an actual animal head, Art and the other characters are wearing masks with clearly human heads behind them. So it’s less about the struggle of Vladek in Auschwitz and the struggle of Art to relate to his father than it is a struggle to tell Vladek’s story.

And the second thing was the frame story in the present day, which as I said, breaks the fourth wall more than the previous part. It’s also a little darker, much like the Auschwitz story, as Vladek grows weaker and weaker and we learn more about him. There are still issues that remain unresolved, like Vladek’s burning of Anja’s journals, and in general, how Vladek and Art deal with Anja’s death. You get the sense more in this part that this is a real retelling of something that actually happened. The frame story continues to make this is a more potent retelling, as we see Art’s struggle in how to tell the story, starting with a simple matter of which animal to make his wife and ending with a real struggle of how to do justice to this story. We also see more connections between what happened to Vladek in Auschwitz, and how it affected him and the way he lives his life in the present. The story becomes very grizzly and dark, and even with the cartoon-like drawing style, many of the images are very graphic and disturbing.

The story doesn’t really conclude. Issues are resolved, and Vladek finishes his story, but many issues are unresolved, and in many ways, the story isn’t finished. It just reaches a stopping point. And in the end, you get the feeling that Spiegelman is saying, “I don’t know whether I did justice to it or not, but I told his story and did the best I could with it.” Again, you have that message of the importance of stories in history, and listening to those stories before the older generation passes away and can no longer tell them. The marriage of the Auschwitz story with the present day frame story makes that message stronger, as does the animal symbolism. I don’t know if I’d call the story satisfying, but I don’t think it aims to satisfy. I think it’s one of those, “Here’s what happened, take your own meaning from it,” kind of stories, and it’s definitely enlightening and fascinating. I’ve never seen another graphic novel or historical story like this, and it’s definitely worth checking out if you’re at all interested in World War II history, in the importance and place in history in general, or just the role of storytelling.

Worth Rating

Worth owning (new)

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StoryTalk: Mythology

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Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (with Jesse of CodedLockFilms)

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Devilish, by Maureen Johnson

Devilish, by Maureen Johnson

Date Finished

May 11, 2011

Genre

Young Adult, Supernatural, Comedy

Synopsis

Jane Jarvis and Ally Concord are best friends who are pretty unpopular in their all-girl Catholic school. But then Ally gets a new little named Lanalee and begins to change, becoming more and more stylish and popular and all but forgetting about Jane. But Jane soon discovers that her friend sold her soul, and with the help of an awkward freshman named Owen, she must find a way to save her best friend’s soul . . . and her own.

Review

This book was . . . strange. Well, okay, it’s a Maureen Johnson novel, so you would expect it to be a little strange. But it was strange in its subject matter as well. This is Maureen Johnson’s fourth book, as well as the fourth I’ve read, and it’s definitely a departure from her previous work, which focused very much on relationships and the nature of human interaction. Her other novel were also rooted in the real world. Devilish is kind of like an early episode of Buffy, the Vampire Slayer meets one of the better sitcoms on Disney’s teen lineup. Which is to say that it was entertaining enough and I enjoyed reading it, but there wasn’t a whole lot of the substance I’ve come to expect from Johnson’s books. This was more of the lighthearted, silly side of Maureen.

I’ll admit to being a little disappointed, but my disappointment has really nothing to do with the quality of the writing or the story. I guess I was hoping for something a bit more creative and a bit less literal as far as actual the selling of the soul went. Nothing in the narrative really surprised me, though I was a little thrown by the sporadic romance between Owen and Jane that kind of came out of no where. One minute he’s her stalker, the next he says, “Oh, I’m your boyfriend now.” I guess actually asking her was out of the question? Honestly, there didn’t need to be a romance in this story, and I wish Johnson hadn’t tried to force one in there.

There are two really strong aspects of the story. The first is the strength of the friendship between Jane and Ally, which leads Jane to put herself in Ally’s place on a couple of different occasions. And the second is Ally’s former relationship with her ex-boyfriend and her realization that it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. Unfortunately, strong though these elements are, neither are really focused on enough for my taste. They both felt rushed. I never felt the friendship between Jane and Ally, nor did I get a sense of the relationship that used to exist between Jane and her ex.

In short, this is an unpretentiously silly novel. It’s entertaining and light. It doesn’t pretend to be something deep or profound, and in the end, it’s not. It’s worth one or two reads, but probably no more, and the whole thing is pretty forgettable. It won’t change your life, but it might make you laugh once or twice.

Worth rating

Worth borrowing

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The Five People You Meet In Heaven, by Mitch Albom

The Five People You Meet in Heaven, by Mitch Albom
Date Finished

May 11, 2011
Genre

Inspirational Fiction
Synopsis

Eddie, Head of Maintenance at Ruby Pier Amusement Park, has died in a freak accident. As he goes to Heaven, he meets five people who changed his life in some way, and from them he sees his life unfold and makes sense of everything, wonderful and horrific, that happened to him.
Review

Let’s start with the one thing I don’t like about this book: the title. The problem with the title is that it is severely misleading. I knew about this book, but avoided it, even when it was recommended to me by someone who has pretty good taste in literature, because it sounds like religious fiction and, as a rule, I despise religious fiction. I don’t like having the values of any one religious view exclusively preached at me, even if it’s technically my own. This book, however, does not do that. God is mentioned only about three times, and although it’s about Heaven and the afterlife, it’s not any one traditional view of Heaven.
In this story, Heaven is where you go to make sense of your life, to figure out what you meant to people and what you learned along the way. The lessons are not exclusive to any one viewpoint. They’re not lessons you’ll find by reading the Bible or the Koran or whatever text you might read, unless you read between the lines a bit. These lessons are universal and timeless. They’re about how we relate to each other and how the things we do and the decisions we make affect other people. Eddie, the protagonist, meets five people who changed his life, but not all of them were part of his life. At least a couple never interacted with him at all.
As far as stories go, this has many aspects that I love: non-linear format, exploration of the entire lifetime of a person, a rich and descriptive writing style, a focus on character development and how things change over time, and of course, puzzle pieces. The story rarely takes the predictable route, and yet it’s not trying to be unpredictable and take you through twists and turns. It’s just putting the puzzle pieces together, and you can probably figure out what the pictures going to be before you get to the end, but it doesn’t matter. The point of this story isn’t to surprise you but to show you how one person’s life can affect so many others. Similarly, the main character, Eddie, is not always good or likable. In fact, Eddie believes himself to be insignificant, and in many ways, he is. He took the job he said he would never take and worked the same job his father did all his life, sometimes he messed up, sometimes he let people down, and he was not always pleasant to be around. But as we learn more about him, we like him more and more and see him as a complex individual who did the best he could.
Despite the title, you don’t have to be religious in any sense of the word to get something out of this book. Eddie wasn’t, and no one converted him at the end. This book won’t tell you what the afterlife is going to be like. This is just one way it could be, and that’s really the point of the book anyway. It’s not always the easiest book to read, and it can get a little preachy with its lessons at times, but ultimately, it’s definitely a book that more people should encounter. Unfortunately, I can’t think of a better title than the one it’s got . . . so people will just have to take this Ultimate Recommendation to heart.
Worth Rating

Ultimate Recommendation

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StoryTalk: Expectations

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Twilight vs. Twilight

The Book

In 2005 was published what has since become one of the most overhyped pieces of literature in the last decade, Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight, the story of a delusional girl and her sparkly vampire boyfriend. Such was the popularity of said novel that–what else?–they made a movie.

The Movie

The movie version of Twilight came out in 2008, starring Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson, and directed by Catherine Hardwicke . . . a virtual treasure trove of wooden acting, awful special effects, and some of the most hilariously misguided directing you’re likely to see outside of a Tommy Wiseau film. Deciding which version of the story is better very much becomes a question similar to that of which tortuous death you’d rather experience.

ROUND 1: Edward and Bella

Sadly, these two have become somewhat iconic in the world of supernatural romance, though God help me if I can find anything remotely romantic about their relationship. Bella Swan moves from sunny Phoenix where she lives with her mother to rainy Forks where her father lives. In the book, her motivation for moving is pretty weak, though to be fair that may be because she whines about it constantly. Movie Bella is considerably less annoying, probably mostly due to the fact that you don’t hear every insipid thought that passes through her brain.

I guess the downside to her, though, is that she’s not quite as well developed. Because the story is told in first person, we get a little more insight into Bella’s character. Now, granted, that character is a complete twit, but at least she’s a well-developed complete twit. She’s pretty unhappy until she meets Edward Cullen, who at first seems to hate her, and then wants to be friends with her, and then wants her to stay away, and then . . . they’re sporadically in love. Go figure.

Edward, the other half of our couple, is . . . well, pretty much a complete ass. He has very few redeeming qualities, and actually comes off as pretty threatening . . . and not in the “I’m a vampire” way, but in the “I’m a really creepy person who thinks of his girlfriend as bacon and sneaks into her room regularly to watch her sleep” way. Though they both have these traits, Edward from the movie is, again, a little more likable. Part of that has to do with the way Edward is written in the book. I don’t know what it is, but somehow the Edward in the book seems like a worse actor than the actor in the movie. It’s really quite astounding. Edward in the movie at least seems a little more genuine and realistic, if only a little.

But I think what decides it for is the relationship between the two. And, despite how annoying they are individually, the relationship itself is definitely done better in the book. Don’t get me wrong . . . it’s impulsive, sporadic, and stupid. But at least it’s believable. You do actually get the feeling that they really believe the things they’re saying . . . which in itself is kind of sad, I know, but it’s a more realistic portrayal of a relationship, even if it’s a stupid one.

In the movie, Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson have absolutely no chemistry on screen. I mean, none. Which is kind of ironic when you consider their relationship off camera. If someone told me that the two of them were shot separately, and that their scenes were just edited together in post-production, I wouldn’t be a bit surprised. They’re both so wrapped up in their own tortured pretentiousness that they forgot that they’re supposed to be a couple. Also, neither of these two actors can do drama convincingly. I bought the happy moments, but I never bought any of the dramatic ones. And seeing as how the entire story is supposed to revolve around the relationship between these two characters, it’s helpful if the characters actually make you believe in the relationship. For that reason, the book seems to have the better portrayal here. WINNER: Book

ROUND 2: Other Characters

Though you wouldn’t think it to look at this egocentric narrative, there are a lot of other characters. Let’s start with the vampires. Now, a lot of people have railed against the vampire mythology in this book, saying it’s a slap in the face to traditional vampires. This really isn’t something I mind that much, though. I don’t really have any problems with non-traditional re-imaginings of mythical creatures. The problem is not that they’re not like traditional vampires . . . the problem is that Meyer doesn’t explain the differences well. There are few explanations of why the vampire myths exist. Edward just kind of laughingly dismisses them when Bella brings them up, and the one major explanation of a vampire myth is . . . well, stupid. I mean, okay, I know everyone’s made fun of this, but come on . . . really? Vampires sparkle in the sunlight? Regardless, the mythology is the one part of the story that’s even remotely interesting. Maybe if she’d focused on that instead of the creepy romance, this would have been a better story.

The movie doesn’t really touch on the mythology, but it makes up for it by actually having vampires in the story! And I mean actual, blood-sucking vampires, not the vegetarian ones. The vampires are introduced as an actual threat early on, and you feel like something dangerous is looming. In the book, they don’t even use the word “vampire” for most of the first half, and even then, the only exposure we have to the creatures is Edward, whose credentials as a vampire are shaky at best. Honestly, this is where the interest lies in the movie . . . not in the Edward/Bella relationship, but in the other characters and the drama of having this threat in their community.

But the first legitimately interesting part of the book is when Jacob is telling Bella the myth surrounding the werewolves and the vampires, which brings us to the second group of mythical beings: the werewolves. Obviously, these creatures are developed more in subsequent novels, but you start to hear about them here, and I’ll admit, it’s kind of an intriguing myth. The mythology on vampires might be underdeveloped and stupid, but the mythology on werewolves is actually a little interesting. Again, it’s one of those things that COULD have made the book better if she’d focused on that. The book seems to be full of that sort of unrealized potential.

But Jacob, who only makes a couple brief appearances is the book, is much more firmly established in the movie, and he definitely has more personality. Plus, the mortal characters of the movie just blow the book’s characters out of the water. Again, it’s because Bella of the book is so wrapped up in her own little drama that she colors everything with her perceptions. We see Charlie as awkward, we see the students as shallow, and we see everyone except the Cullens as beneath her because that’s how SHE sees them, so everyone is colorless, vapid, and stupid. The main advantage that the movie has over the book is that you GET OUT OF HER FREAKING HEAD! So you actually see the other characters as mildly interesting and likable people, not as a bunch of people who are either shallow or who just want to get into Bella’s pants. In reality, the book doesn’t really HAVE any other characters. Bella’s ego and Edward’s  . . . sparkly-ness . . . just kind of shove them out of the story. The movie’s better characterization easily beats out the sloppy mythology from the book. WINNER: Movie

ROUND 3: Composition

So . . . the book is written badly. I mean . . . badly. When you misuse the word “sarcastic” twice and don’t know that fog that obscures your view of the sky is, in fact, called clouds, you’ve got serious problems. And yet, for some reason, this story drew in a lot of people. I mean, Meyer seems to have a unique talent here: her writing is crap, and yet people find it engrossing . . . on the first read. On subsequent reads, that’s another story. And once you start to pick it apart and look at the meaning, it doesn’t REALLY seem worth tattooing it on your body and naming your kids after characters, y’know?

The movie’s screenwriter did at least try to put a good story together. They kept some of the better and more well-known lines from the book, but there did actually seem to be an attempt to make the characters sound halfway intelligent . . . with a few notable exceptions of course. Also, I do give the movie credit for being one of the few films I’ve seen use narration effectively. Narration is a tricky thing in movies, because so much of it is visual. If you’re going to use it, it can’t just be a description of what’s going on on screen . . . we can see that for ourselves. It has to forward the story or develop the characters in some way. Narration in movies also has tendency to disappear after the five minutes. Not only do we get Bella’s narration throughout the entire film, but it actually does help the story. She doesn’t tell us anything we that can easily figure out for ourselves, and we do actually get a little bit of an insight into what she’s going through. And unlike the book, she doesn’t (for the most part, anyway) come off as a vapid little self-righteous bimbo, which is nice. (That, from what I understand, comes in subsequent movies.)

I guess the one advantage to book’s composition is that it’s told in first person, which gives us a firsthand look both at what’s happening to Bella AND what’s going through her head. You get a lot more insight into a character’s motivation when they’re the ones actually telling you everything. That said, though, her perception colors everything. We can’t see the characters in any sort of realistic light, because she is just such a spoiled brat and sees everyone either as beneath her or paling in perfection to the sparkly perfection that is Edward.

On top of that, the pacing is just a mess. I mean, it’s awful. Half of the novel is just boring conversations, and the other is boring descriptions of Edward’s perfection. Nothing happens for pages and pages. The whole novel is like one big make-out session . . . it might be fun for the participants, but we really don’t want to read about it. The only interesting things are just glanced over, and there isn’t any sort of fantasy adventure until the end. For all its flaws, the movie does actually make you feel invested in some things. The main plot is crap, but the subplots they throw in are actually a little engaging. We see this town struggling with a killer in their midst, and we actually get a sense of danger and tension at the beginning of the story . . . and by danger and tension, I mean more than just Edward being angsty and talking about how dangerous he is with nothing to back it up. Seriously, this guy’s over a century old? He acts like he’s fifteen. Like I said, there does seem to have been attempt to put together a decent story. And, yeah, it fails, but not quite as badly as the book does. WINNER: Movie

ROUND 4: Imagery

Okay, so . . . it’s no secret that the imagery in this movie is pretty horrible. I mean, for a story about blood-sucking vampires, everyone in the film looks pretty . . . bloodless. I guess the washed out coloring is supposed to add to the atmosphere of the whole thing, and in a way it does. You do get a feeling of eeriness with the whole thing, and there are moments where it draws a decent contrast between the dramatic situation Bella is in, and the relatively light-hearted and easy world of her classmates.

All that being said though . . . I mean, c’mon. Look at this thing. I mean, look at it. Have you ever seen film trying so hard to look artsy and yet failing so miserably? I mean, it’s TWILIGHT for crying out loud, and you’re going to try to make it look like high art? Seriously? On top of that, these special effects are just crap. I mean . . . they are hilariously bad. All that’s missing from these running scenes is the “Benny Hill” music. And apparently, when Edward goes into the sun, he turns into a cheap photoshop effect. And don’t even get me started on the action scenes. These moves are so fake you can practically see the strings. The book isn’t much better, but I give it credit for a few good descriptions here and there. I mean, yeah, most of them have to do with what godlike being Edward is, but still, you get a decent sense of the gloominess of the location. It does actually create a decent atmosphere, albeit a depressing one.

But on that note, the movie does actually create the same atmosphere through its odd use of coloring and weirdly pretentious shots. Forks really does seem every bit as gloomy here as it does in the book. Also, for all the rules they break in the mythology, the vampires do at least kind of look like vampires. I mean, the cheap photoshop skin notwithstanding, they do look enough like vampires that you kinda wonder how no one caught on that they weren’t.

But overall, this movie has some pretty seriously misguided direction. And I think the pinnacle of goofiness, aside from the sparkly-ness, is the scene with Edward and Bella in the meadow together. I mean, good God, you have never such hilariously misplaced music in your life. This film can’t decide whether it wants to be a romance, an adventure, a coming-of-age story, a horror flick, or a Tommy Wiseau film, and a lot of that comes through in the music. I mean it, keep track of how many hilariously misplaced musical moments there are in this film. Bottom line, the book may have some crappy writing, but it least it keeps a fairly consistent tone and sets a decent atmosphere, whereas the movie . . . just makes you giggle inappropriately. WINNER: Book

ROUND 5: Story

All right, let me say this, first off: neither of these stories was nearly as bad as I thought they were going to be. In fact, on the worth meter, I’d give both them the equivocal levels of “Worth Skimming” and “Worth Sitting Through.” Not stellar ratings to be sure, but they both at least have some redeeming qualities and some potential to be considerably better than they are.

The book has a semi-interesting backstory with the werewolf legends and the Cullens not wanting to kill humans. If they’d focused more on the vampires and less on the pretentious romance, it could have been a decent book. The movie has the subplots going for it. It does actually create some legitimate drama and tension when we see how concerned Charlie and the other residents of Forks are about the killings. And I appreciate that they actually introduce threatening vampires early in the film and not as an afterthought toward the end. And even though I never gave a crap about the romance between Edward and Bella, I did kind of feel invested in the other characters and what they were going through. And to be honest, Bella really isn’t that bad at the beginning of the film. She actually has sort of a reason for leaving her mom, she doesn’t complain about it really at all, and seems considerably more upbeat than her literary counterpart . . . right up until the sparkly one himself shows up.

I give the book credit that, when I first read it, it held my attention until the end of the story, and I did actually feel compelled to read New Moon, a decision I still deeply regret. It pulls you into the drama and the atmosphere so much that, when you’re reading it for the first time and haven’t really learned how to read critically yet, you don’t notice that it’s written like complete crap . . . though admittedly, once you do notice, that’s all you notice. Twilight was a LOT harder to read the second time around.

And that, I think, is the bottom line: the movie is more entertaining. When you’re looking at a crap story with few redeeming qualities, all that’s left is entertainment value, and the movie beats the book out there easily. I’m not going to say it’s necessarily better than the book. In reality, they’re probably both on the same level. Both require you to shut off your brain a little in order to get through them, but where the book just becomes unbelievingly boring and grating, the movie is absolutely hilarious if watched with the right attitude. In fact, I think this might be the first truly bad movie I’ve ever watched that honestly entertained me with its horribleness. And in this review, that’s worth a lot. Plus the movie’s only two hours of torture as opposed to . . . however long it takes you to read five hundred pages of drivel. So when all is said and done, the movie may not be better . . . but I liked it better, and that’s what we’re going with. WINNER: Movie


Current Score: Books-9; Movies-8

Book’s Worth Rating

Worth Skimming

Movie’s Worth Rating

Worth Sitting Through

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